Witches of East End 2.01: BDSM, Bianca Lawson, and Tentacle Sex

This episode had it all.

need to start off with how attracted I suddenly am to Dash, though. I mean he always looked nice. But the confusion, anger, “dark aura,” et al that he had going on in this episode? Hot. Yes, doctah, throw another table.

Love you down

I was sweating harder than Queen Joanna, that man was so fine. But I’ll come back to him.

The episode opened a week after the season 1 finale, and every Beauchamp was up to something. I sincerely thought that Joanna and Victor were about to have some sex, so the show succeeded with that imagery. I was looking at Joanna like, “Damn, girl, you’re into some scurry sh*t.” But Vic was only treating her (mmm-hmm), and it was painful as hell for her.

Joanna was great in this episode. Once again, kudos to Julia Ormond.

The moment when I entertained that they really might kill Joanna was when she was telling Wendy that she is at peace, that maybe if she dies the curse will die with her and her girls will get to grow old. Trust and believe that I was screaming in my head. What is this show without all four Beauchamps women? Yeah, even Freya.

Freya brought her A game in this episode. NOTICE though: Killian was nowhere near East End, and Dashing was off doing his own thing. She had no choice but to prosper. She talked about Killian a couple of times, but girlfriend was mixing potions to get her family’s collective memories back (loved the third eye), getting visions (loved the white/grey eyes), and casting a success potion to help her sister land a job. Freya, you can be great!

As soon as Wendy drenched Ingrid in praises about her stability, I knew that Ingrid was going to be anything but an anchor. We got the reveal at the end of the episode, but I think that Ingrid’s arc for this season will be her becoming less and less the voice of reason as she falls into some scurry sh*t of her own.

So Ingrid wants this job. I’ll have to wait until they mention it in another episode to catch the title of it. I didn’t write it down because I didn’t think she was actually going to get it, and I’ve already deleted the episode. But yes, she lied, got rejected, and then Freya helped her get it via a magical lie.

Where is Barb? I like that man, Wendy’s coworker, I’ve yet to hear his name, but where is Barb? I know she’s pregnant, but the actress isn’t pregnant in real life, so what’s up? She is supposed to be Ingrid’s best friend, not that man, though I get the “gay man brings the laughs” thing. And I don’t think they’ve been explicit about his queerness. You can never be sure with tv. If they’re not explicit, then they might be tricking you and take it back later.

At the beginning of the episode, Ingrid left the house unnoticed, dressed in white, and then woke up with grass and branches in her hair. It turns out that she’s serving as a food source for this quasi orc man who came from nowhere else than Asguard. It can’t be a coincidence that he appeared after the portal opened.

The question is, how does Ingrid not know that this is happening? Is she under a spell? Who’s spell is it? The quasi orc? Her new houseguest? A third person?

How about the quasi orc’s tentacles, though?! I thought it was just one, but he has several. Where does he keep them? Ingrid was giving me 1906 with Archibald in that scene. I want to make a comment about there being a part of her that loves this type of submissiveness (that also has a root of dominance because Mr. Tentacles is relying on her for sustenance), but it doesn’t seem like she’s making the choice to go to the woods to feed this man.

But I can definitely say something about the show writing her with this….actually, this wouldn’t even be submissive. It’s dominant. Despite the fact that she’s standing still, let her not show up and what will Tentacles do? She has the power. In the way that I’m thinking about it, that is. Canon-wise, she might end up needing to be saved.

Elsewhere, Ms. Wendy was on the tail of whoever came out of the portal. And it turns out she’s been sussing out Frederick! Boyfriend just walked up to the house. How did he find it? How? Did he find out where they lived while he was in Asguard?

Do I need to say that I don’t trust him? He’s sitting in that bedroom eavesdropping and junk. Wendy said that the family hasn’t seen him in four hundred years. That boy is up to something.

But he did save my Joanna. He might be storing that adamantium (pretty sure I just named the wrong thing) to use on the women later. He might be telling the truth about his relationship with the grandfather turning contentious, but that doesn’t mean he’s about the right when it comes to the Beauchamp women.

After all, if the poison was leaking on our side, then it stands to reason that Asguard would see it leaking from their side. I bet Frederick was standing at that portal, ready to come through and find the family in case it opened. Bet he’s the one who took the women’s memories away.

He killed that man at the hospital! I almost forgot. Frederick did that to him.

So with that, let me turn my attention to Dashing.

Sigh.

Bear with me. I.love.him. Just….heart in my eyes. He is so sexy. He opens the episode on some Spiderman 1 tip where he’s throwing his hands forward to recreate his powers. But no dice. Until his consciousness pisses him off when it appears in the form of Killian. Dash ignites a fire in the hearth and in my heart.

“You and Freya can rot for all I care.”

Controlling my breathing

So sexy!

He still doesn’t feel a smidgen of guilt about Killian’s death, but I said before that I don’t consider them brothers anymore. Although, I noticed for the very first time that they do look alike. When Killian was half shadowed while Freya was running to him in the premonition, he looked so much like Dash.

So Dash goes to work and being the rational man that he is, he does an X-Ray on himself because there must be a scientific explanation for the supernatural things that he’s doing and seeing.

Sidebar: Does he remember Amy? Because……

A man is brought into the hospital, raving and ranting, except he’s completely sane because he’s talking about witchcraft and the supernatural. He mentions a King and one of the four. I think. And then he dies. And then Dash totally brings him back to life with a shock to the heart. But because Dash is brand new to his powers, I’m guessing, the man still dies. Dash did revive him, right? He didn’t shock him to death via some electricity, did he? I don’t believe so. I hope not.

Later on, he walks into the Bent Elbow looking fine as hell and staring Freya down. Freya speaks words that are meant to make us think that Dash is totally evol. She later tells Wendy that Dash scares her. Let them keep this up, and I’ll wonder why Freya ever dated Dash.

So a woman who is not Amy calls Dash and gives him the result of his X-Ray. His skull is totally weird, but he is not alone! A 10-year-old girl fell off a jungle gym (or something) years ago, and she was brought in for an X-Ray. Her name? A Parching Imbued. That’s right: MISS INGRID BEAUCHAMP!

I legitimately teared up, and that only happens when a show makes me feel emotions from deep in my gut, emotions that accost me before I even have a chance to think or process. I think it’s documented in a podcast on this blog that The Vampire Diaries made me feel this way once.

Ingrid and Dash! Can we please get it started? Their skulls are the same! What more do you need?! Your OTP will never. Because, yes, I ship it. And I would’ve gotten a scene with the two of them, too, if it wasn’t for that meddling Freya.

She wanted to apologize and ask about Killian. Dashing wasn’t having it, and did a little manipulation when he told her that she had some nerve, and then he telekinetically threw a chair and table. Freya saw and now she’s afeard. Anyways.

Someone saw Dash on the dock. Who, though?!

And now for someone who is not interesting: Killian is in Santo Domingo. Please stay away from Haiti. We don’t need you.

The only reason to care about this is that Bianca Lawson is with him, because she is everywhere, and she is an owl who either saved Killian because she wants to save him, or she saved him because she plans to kill him. Wendy called the owl Killian’s spirit animal. Bianca’s name is Ava in this show, and she’s blocking all magic from reaching Killian.

Now, do I want Ava to be good or evil? Being evil would give her more to do, but it would also get her killed by Freya, or, worse, Killian. If she’s good, she’ll just be a reason to make Freya jealous. She’s already making out with Killian and stuff.

I’ll take evil. Just don’t let Killian kill her, please. Let it be anyone else. But make her do something cool first!

Killian himself might have amnesia, or he might just be a dude who doesn’t want to go home because his brother tried to kill him after he married the woman that he’s in love with. Either way, he’s rocking a giant gauze on the back of his neck.

Lastly, Miss Wendy met a guy who is way hotter than Leo, and he has a thousand times the personality. At first I thought he was the person who’d come out of the portal, but he’s completely human! For now. Walk Wendy his way, please. They have a nice rapport.

I’m incredibly excited for this season, and I can’t wait to watch the next episode!

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2 thoughts on “Witches of East End 2.01: BDSM, Bianca Lawson, and Tentacle Sex

  1. “And now for someone who is not interesting: Killian is in Santo Domingo. Please stay away from Haiti. We don’t need you.”

    Lol! While I don’t care about Frillian, I like Freya and …how do I put it… she’s a fully fleshed out character, she has a discernable personality. And with Killian, I’m like: “What’s a Killian?” I don’t feel like I know him very well.

    • I like Freya, too. I was worried that it would come across like I don’t like her in this review, lol. I just don’t care for her love life. She IS fleshed out, like you said, thanks to the fact that the show bothers with her family. Not so with Killian. He literally does not relate to anyone except for Freya. Dash had Freya, his mom a little bit, his JOB, and Amy. And now a discernible storyline. I don’t want Freya to kill Ava simply because she hasn’t displayed her powers on a level that I….like? And I don’t want the first time to be when she’s killing a woman who was killing Killian, especially when that woman is played by Bianca. I don’t want it to be like, “Let me show how badass I can really be now that someone’s been hurting Killian.”

      But you know what? Better that Killian get the short end of the character development stick than Freya.

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